Grow some girl-balls and come out already
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize