Say something about gay babies.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
