Only a mothe r could love this liver
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize