I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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