No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
