I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
