There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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