I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
