Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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