i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
