I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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