haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think your dad took our porno
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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