remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
