What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
