I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
