New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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