their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you traded sex for a burrito?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
