Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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