Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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