A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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