You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
