Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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