allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
