none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
