I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize