I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize