Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
