I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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