me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
