wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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