I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
