So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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