She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
