Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
