Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Alive.
So much puke
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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