If that was your dad, he is hot
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
