ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize