He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize