oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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