How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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