she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
