She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
