Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
