You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
