i think my mom watched the whole time
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
