just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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