Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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