The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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