Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
