i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
