Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Randomize
