And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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