we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
