Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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