Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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