bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
