i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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