Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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