Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
