I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
