every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
