when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My balls are so social today.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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