this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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