She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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