I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
