Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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