maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
