Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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