Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"

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(224): View more from Illinois

Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.

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(305): View more from Florida

i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

At least I've made one childhood dream come true

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(562): View more from California

Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

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(315): View more from New York

i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.

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(904): View more from Florida

If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.

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(217): View more from Illinois

They also submitted to my demands for pizza

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(404): View more from Georgia

You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.

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